'You want some Deep Cleavage in Scotland? Better go to the Butchers!'
Scotland's
weather is just too cold for us to bare our bodies and so our skin sees as much day-light as a ten pound note in McGinty's wallet!
We only have one diet in the UK - its called the BBC diet - Buy Bigger Clothes! We are not wearing bikinis on the beaches - we are wrapping ourselves in waxed jackets to go to the local store!
Now in America they work out for what they call 'buns of steel'! Well where I come from we are just trying to cover up our 'buns of cinnamon'! Glutimus to the maximus if you know what I mean! Why would we want to get one of those stomachs that look like a six-pack when we can get the whole barrel, keg-belly!
In America cleavage has become the ultimate fashion accessory! A Scottish lass will take what she was given, but women in the US are out there shopping for a better pair!
And while you are asleep you might as well let the
surgeon flip you over and firm up that sagging sack of a butt of yours. Cracking walnuts is just not enough – after
they have
finished you'll be able to grind pepper between these cheeks!
Next -Scotland the Land of No Rocks!